A reminder to myself.

On bipolar tax.

It doesn’t matter if it’s not stressful for someone else. If it’s stressful for you, then it’s real.

It doesn’t matter if others can sleep easy at night. If an issue keeps you awake, then it’s valid.

It doesn’t matter if others can tolerate the heat in the kitchen. If it burns your heart, take notice.

It doesn’t matter if it’s common sense to others. If you need to ask for more concrete information, then ask.

It doesn’t matter if the world deems it easy, tells you to compartmentalise, asks you to suck it up, you be true to yourself.

It doesn’t matter if people can feel better on sun and food and love alone. If the pills keep you safe, keep taking them.

It doesn’t matter if the world tells you to hurry up, speak up, stand up, get up, move up, speed up, you need to be at peace with your own pace. And run your own race.

I call it the bipolar tax.

Things that might not stress out other people can have an impact on you. Things that glide over others can stick with you for years.

This doesn’t make you weak or broken or too much or over sensitive. It means you live with a lifechanging diagnosis and you’re doing the very best to make the most of this one beautiful life, be present with the people you love, change your sheets, brush your hair, even when your brain feels against you, even when your thoughts are too loud, even when getting out of bed feels like treacle.

It’s ok to be aware of this and make changes. You don’t have to justify it, mask it, pretend it isn’t there.

As many of my good friends have said: if it costs you your mental health, it’s too expensive.

It’s ok to plonk the potato down if it’s giving you third degree burns.